


Knowing what to do

by evakuality



Series: Let's talk about it [1]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Canon Compliant, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 13:05:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17060312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakuality/pseuds/evakuality
Summary: A small missing moment after their first kiss in the pool.  What happens when they start having to have some awkward conversations about where this is all going?





	Knowing what to do

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt I got on tumblr: It’s canon for me that at the beginning of their story,Isak must have felt clumsy because of his lack of sexual experience,despite his notorious « I’m the master at things».Even being the sensitive person he is noticed it,we know that it was his first time with a boy but he has been dating Sonja for years and sex wasn’t new for him. How do you think the conversation happened ?
> 
> Mostly reposted here in case Tumblr carries through on its promise to disintegrate.

It’s heady, lying here with Isak curled up around him, and Even can’t remember a time when he felt more content.  In a few short hours they’ve gone from sitting uneasily on Isak’s couch to kissing in a pool to frantically riding through the streets of Oslo in the freezing cold, to this.  Gone is the frantic energy as they tried to stay as warm as they could on the heart-thumping ride back to Isak’s place.  In its place is a soft cuddliness, brought on by a mixture of tiredness and the post-flight relief of being inside and warm and alone.   **  
**

Lying on Isak’s bed, fresh clothes on their shivering bodies, and a warmth in his arms, Even thinks Isak feels that warmth too.  There’s a contentment in his body, a softness to the way he has melted into Even’s embrace.  Far be it for him to compare, but it’s been a long time since someone else has given so much trust to Even with just body language.  He sighs his happiness and Isak stirs, looks up at him.

“Hmmm?” he mumbles, and Even’s delighted to notice that there’s a haze of sleep in his voice.  Not only are they here after a night like the one they had, but Isak is already so comfortable with Even that he can sleep like this?  It’s a gift beyond measure.

Even lets his fingers run soothing patterns on Isak’s shoulder, feels another almost painful burst of joy as Isak hums his appreciation at the feeling.

“Just … uh … thinking,” Even says and Isak snorts, sleep still clear in his voice but a slightly more lively sensation running through his body as he shifts against Even.

“You shouldn’t go around thinking,” he says.  “It never goes anywhere good.”

Even laughs, as quietly as he can.  The flat is silent around them apart from some soft snores coming through the walls and reminding him that they’re not along.  Even’s painfully aware that they should be as circumspect as they can so as not to disturb anyone.  “Even when I’m thinking about you?” he asks.

“Especially then; that’s just weird,” Isak says, groaning as he tries to burrow further into Even’s side and his icy toes slide up against Even’s foot.  The resulting chill takes Even’s breath away.

Giving up on trying to be sensible and not rush anything, Even lets his fingers drift into Isak’s hair, lets himself revel in the slight drag as they tangle in the still-damp strands.  Isak’s sighs are changing now, moving from sleepy to inquisitive and Even brushes his lips over Isak’s forehead.  Isak glances up again, his eyes purposeful now, and tilts his chin in clear invitation.  And who is Even to deny Isak anything?

He leans down, presses their lips together.  All their kisses tonight have been heady, delirious, caught up in the fire and energy of the moment.  In the pool, once they’d escaped with the bike, outside Isak’s home.  Frantic, desperate, caught in a moment.  There’s been no thought or intent, just a buzzing joy at finally being able to kiss Isak, and an underlying thrill in all of them as the pent-up emotions of the last few weeks are suddenly set free.  But this one … this is soft and sweet and purposeful.  This one asks  _are you with me?_  And gets the answer  _yeah I am._   There’s a sense of belonging in this one, a sense of this being bigger and  _more_  than all the others so far.  Gone is the relief of finding out that Isak wants this too.  Gone is the nerve-breaking fear that he could be rejected the way he was last time.  In its place is this smaller fear: what are we doing from here?  Where is this going?  How far do we take this tonight?

Even pulls back, forces himself to untangle his lips from Isak’s.  Forces himself to stop and think, even though thinking right now seems like the hardest thing in the world.  Isak is beside him, eyes glazed and lips dropped open.  His cheeks are flushed and there’s a desperation in his eyes.  But even through the kiss-drunk fog Even finds himself in, he knows there’s something else there.  Isak’s body is tense, and his fingers are rigid on Even’s shoulders.

Even understands that.  They’re here together and it’s exhilarating, but there’s a small shiver underlying everything.  For Even, that shiver revolves around the knowledge that this – being with a boy – is new and scary.  Similar but different to being with Sonja.  For Isak … well, who knows what it’s like for Isak?  That’s something they’ve never really discussed.  It’s been all Nas and weed, school and friends.  Jokes about dicks aside, they’ve never talked about anything that could have tipped their flirting into serious territory.  Not while everything was up in the air, not while they didn’t know.

But now they do know. And now things are getting … well, they’re getting a bit obvious.  Along with the glorious flush on Isak’s cheeks, there’s a stiffness to the dick that’s pressed against Even’s leg.  It’s exciting, stimulating in a way Even hadn’t known he’s been missing.  But the fact that it’s there is so big.  Intrusive.  It calls things to mind that need to be dealt with.  And while Even is pretty sure that Isak wouldn’t say no if pressed, he can also tell by the restless squirming that Isak’s not entirely comfortable with this.

So he slides his hand down Isak’s leg, resting it on the back of his thigh and dragging Isak closer.  It makes him squeak, his voice high pitched and breathy, but there’s a tiny relaxing of his body as he feels that Even is just as affected.

“Hey,” Even says, letting his nose skim down the length of Isak’s and getting a thrill when Isak responds with a nuzzle of his own.

“Hi.”

Isak’s voice is almost back to normal now, but there’s still that slight tone underlying it that lets Even know he’s still not comfortable.

“You think we should talk about that?  Or .. do something about it?” Even asks, pulling on Isak’s leg gently, letting him know what he means without having to say it out loud.  Because ‘are we going to do anything about these boners?’ is actually hard to say quite so explicitly right now, with the ghost of Sonja whispering beside Even, and with the newness of being with a boy who wants him back.

Isak’s face goes an even deeper crimson and he sucks in a shaky breath.  “Ummm …”

“You don’t want to?” Even says, pressing a tiny kiss to the side of Isak’s lips.  “That’s okay, you know?”

Isak growls, his face creasing into the most adorable irritated look Even has ever seen.  “It’s not that I don’t  _want_  to,” he grumbles.  “It’s … it’s more that …” and now he’s looking away, embarrassed, eyes flickering in a way that shows he’s finding it hard to talk about this.  The final words come out in a whisper.  “I don’t know what to do.”

And  _oh._   That’s not something Even had thought about.  The rumors have all been about Isak the player.  Isak the guy who can hook up with a new girl every weekend and leave them panting in his wake.  Isak being unsure of all this stuff had never entered Even’s mind, and it’s more endearing than it has any right to be now that it has.

“That’s okay too,” Even says, letting his fondness into his voice.  “I don’t know what to do either.”

“Bullshit.”  Isak’s voice is back to his usual teasing tone, though, and Even breathes an internal sigh of relief.  He doesn’t care what they do, so long as Isak is comfortable and stays in the moment with him.  “Bullshit,” Isak repeats when Even doesn’t respond.  “You were with Sonja for years.”

“Mmmm, I was,” Even agrees.  “But it’s not the same.”  He shrugs when Isak opens his mouth to protest that idea.  “No two people are the same, Isak.  And … and it’s different.  Easier.  When you’ve been together for so long.  You kind of know what to do and what they like.”

“Huh,” Isak says and wriggles so he’s lying on Even’s chest and looking up at him.  “So … you don’t know what you’re doing?”

Evan laughs, he can’t help it.  He lets out one big boom and they both freeze, suddenly aware again of the sleeping flatmates through the flimsy walls of the apartment as someone’s snores are cut off in a small bout of grumbling.  Once the shuffles they can hear through the wall have died down, and the soft snores return, Even pulls Isak closer to him in a one armed hug.

“I do … but I also don’t.  I don’t know you.  I don’t know what you would like or not.”  he can feel his own cheeks getting warm as he thinks about this.  “I don’t … I don’t know how to touch you and your body.”

Isak’s breath sucks in and his eyes flutter closed.  His fingers curl into Even’s chest where they’ve been resting.  “Fuck,” he says.  “You can’t say stuff like that.”

“I can’t? Why?” Even asks.

“Because you make me want to find out.  Even if I have no idea at all.”  Isak’s eyes are open now and fixed so determinedly on Even’s that he feels exposed and laid bare.  Like Isak can see right into the heart of him.

“We could do that,” Even says, his hands running up inside Isak’s hoodie, feeling the soft skin of his lower back and humming in a pleased way as Isak shivers under his fingers.

“No, we couldn’t,” Isak says.  “I want … I just want to stay like this.  I want to enjoy  _this_  for a bit”  Isak’s fingers are running along the edge of the t-shirt Even’s wearing, making his own skin pebble in their wake, and leaving pinpricks of heated energy behind.  “And anyway, there’s …”

He doesn’t finish, but he doesn’t have to because Even knows.  Sonja.  And he’s right.  It’s one thing to kiss and cuddle and give in to the feelings that have been circling them for so long.  It’s quite another to take it further, to step over that already blurry boundary between what’s okay and what’s cheating.  Even sighs.

“Yeah,” he agrees.  “You’re right.  But I still want to kiss you some more.”

Isak huffs out a small amused chuckle.  “You can do that,” he says.  “I’m not stopping you.”

He gives out a delighted squeak when Even rolls them over so he’s hovering over Isak and looking down at him.  Then they’re kissing again and all thought of Sonja is gone.  The boners may still be there, but they’re careful to keep them apart, to focus on the lips and the hands roaming chests and backs.  It’s nice, Even thinks.  He could get used to this, wants to get used to this.  One day they have to talk about other things again.  Probably.  And Even definitely has to talk to Sonja.  As soon as he can.  Tomorrow.  Maybe, if he can force himself away from Isak’s side.

But for now, this is everything Even’s ever wanted and he couldn’t be happier.  For now, Even’s going to live in this moment right alongside isak.


End file.
